why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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