Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i think my mom watched the whole time
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
