Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm really busy with my period
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