Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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