I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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