It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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