There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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