we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
