I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
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I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
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I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
you never un-have a 4some
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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