Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
