If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
