How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
