I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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