How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
