You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize