R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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