We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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