the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
