I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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