Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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