i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
