Cold hands, warm shart.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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