I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
The adults are the big ones right?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
