Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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