Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
