Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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