dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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