is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
