I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
