her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize