She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
