I want to stick my p in your. b.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Randomize
