Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I need to calm my uterus...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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