i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
