My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
