Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
