when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
