Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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