I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize