Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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