Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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