One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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