i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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