How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
time to smoke my breakfast
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize