roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
