i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
should my penis look like a turkey
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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