it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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