Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize