i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
