All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize