32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
