Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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