Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
