hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
