Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
