I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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