and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Randomize
